I know at times I have sought truth as a life-propelling purpose; an underlying theme for a practical way of living. But I feel in order to really speak truthfully about my purpose or passion I have to come to terms with the meaning of the word, at least for myself.
TRUTH: a verified fact, conformity to reality or actuality...
Those are generalized descriptions given in the dictionary.
But overtime I have had long detailed discussions about the truth that have led me to see a new definition. Usually these discussions end with someone flattening the validity of the argument by pointing out "no one really knows the truth, anyways." I think that when people speak of truth this way they are using it in the "verified fact" sort of way.
Then again when we all feel this inner need to stop wasting, stop eating crap and/or start living "better," we are using the term as a conformity to reality; a sort of return to the nature of life itself. Now...knowing myself I would never belittle this form of truth, it is a major driving force in my life currently. But...
I feel the most important form of truth for real happiness is another truth entirely...and this is what I wanted to explore in this blog entry.
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Everytime I have a conversation with someone I am observing them; I am listening to the words they are saying, I am assuming the circumstances that led up to those words, the choice to speak them and I am reading something else entirely, something in their face, in their body language and in their tone that tells me whether they believe what they are saying or not. You could say I am trying to detect whether they are lying or not. Essentially that is what I am doing...but I don't really care that much if they are lying, and that completely depends on what the severity of the subject matter is. But I think I am always trying to decide how I should feel about this information. If they are saying it with a tone of "sarcasm" I ask myself whether or not I think that sarcasm is appropriate, and whether or not I agree with them. This opinion is not only contingent on what they are saying, but also how they present it to me.
From personal discovery and some late night insightful conversations (after some drinks) I have found an obvious split between what we feel and what we say. As much as we'd like to say we're honest or as much as we'd like to say we have open minds there is always this sort of duality. You might be thinking, duh, there are a lot of times when I don't say what I am thinking but its more than that. There starts to exist this whole other person that you say is the "real you" to the world, and then there is the real person that you know you are. And when you realize that and then really, and I mean REALLY express those emotions or thoughts it is extremely liberating.
I have been taking an acting class with a friend of mine, Marco DiGeorge. He is a great person, who has come to be a part of my life as a friend, a fellow artist and now with the business. I strongly recommend you take an acting class, it is a very expansive experience artistically and personally. If you are in Orlando I recommend you take his class (www.truthfulacting.com)
Anyways...
In this class we explore ourselves and each other. Overall it is for the purposes of losing the fear that comes along with being up on stage, or being in front of the camera; basically the fear of being vulnerable. But by doing that we break down walls that we put up in our personal lives as well. You start to lose the fear you have of being vulnerable in life in general. This fear of being vulnerable is what leads to this sort of split between what you think and what you do in the first place.
I have become very aware...almost obsessed with improving myself. (granted, I feel like I should be more physically active, the creaks in the bones remind me of that.) But for the most part I study myself and try to undo what the world has done to me, no... society has done...nope...
I try to undo what I have done to myself.
This gradual journey of seeking the truth...in between work, dinner and other entertainment has led me to have less stress, less fear, and overall a happier life.
So I would like to add all of that to the definition of "truth."
Maybe someone could help me word that...eh?
Could it be...or is it just me?
Being so busy lately I have found it very increasingly hard to find time to work on my own personal stuff. Therefore I have been searching for a blog template that I actually liked.
However, this search turned out to take more time than expected. After many layouts I have found this one. Evidens (White) I think its perfect for me. It gives me a background to express some type of seasonal-mood-inspiring-image and also has a layout I feel comfortable with.
Thank you BloggerStyles.com
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