30 days ago today I was pulled over 2 times in the same night for a broken tail light. The second time I was pulled over the officer gave me what he called a "warning" ticket, then he said "just prove that you fixed the light and you won't have to pay this." The ticket was for $80.50.
It is now the 30th day and I have to pay up.
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I've been very busy but last week I took my car to Pep Boys since they worked on my car a few weeks ago and put a dye in my oil so they could help me a find an oil leak. I brought the car in told them 1.) I was following up on the oil leak and 2.) I had a tail light that was out. I then explained I checked the bulb and the fuse and thats not the problem. They said "Sound good. We'll take a look. Would like to take advantage of our -Buy 3 tires get 1 free deal-"...
I thought: Actually my tires need to be changed, i'm starting to see some tread on the front 2 tires, if I get the 4th one free I really am only paying for 1 more tire. "Why not, sounds good."
This was at 10:00 AM.
Around 9:00 PM I call them asking them "Where the hell is my car?" They told me that I need to take the car to a certified diesel mechanic to fix the oil leak, and the tail light doesn't look like its the bulb or the fuse so I'll have to take it to a certified electrical service mechanic...BUT We put all 4 new tires on. YIPPEE!!
So I took the car home and parked it. The next day I took the day off to find out for myself why the light wasn't working. I mean how hard could it be.
Wow. Pretty insanely difficult.
I followed the cable from the trunk to the backseat to the front seat up through the dash then under the hood...ripping the car apart in the process. After 2-3 hours I gave up on finding a problem with the cable and decided, well if my left tail light works, then I could probably just run a wire from that light to the other one and it should work. Well it was time for me to head out and I knew it would take me at least another hour to accomplish so it went on the list with the wind shield wipes I removed and have yet to put back in in over 3 months.
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So now on the 30th day I drove from shop to shop explaining my problem until finally I found a Mobile Service Center who said they would fix it. Yes. I felt accomplished, whatever it costs its probably cheaper than the $80 ticket.
They look at it. Ask me lots of questions about how the veggie cars work and how much I pay for the oil and yadda yadda. Then I hear one of them say it could probably take all day to find a wiring diagram for a 1982 Benz and who knows where the wiring issue is. I walk to the back of my car and I realize one of them has grabbed some of the wire I had ready to link the lights together and is hiding it along the back of the trunk to the other light. ARGH. Well he ended up doing what I would have done anyways, but didn't charge me.
Thats what I'm talking about. Thats the world I want to live in.
So immediately I call the court house to find out where I have to go in order to prove I fixed the light so I don't have to pay.
Operator: "If you fixed the light, you'll still have to pay."
Confused Derek: "Well the officer said that if I fix it, this is just a warning ticket and I won't have to pay if I have someone look at it."
Operator: "Well he's wrong"
More Confused Derek: "He's wrong?"
Operator: "It'll be $96.50."
Confident Derek: "Actually the ticket says $80.50"
Operator: "Well its wrong"
Jaded Amused Derek: "Haha. Riiiiight. So the economy has everyone in a bind."
Operator: "Excuse me sir?"
Retarded Robot Derek: "So what happens if I prove I fixed it?"
Operator: "If you bring it to a police department, if they have time they will sign off on the ticket that you have replaced the light, if you did replace the light and you will receive a discount...the ticket will be $76."
Certain Derek: "So I get a $4 price break."
Bitch Operator: "No. $20 break actually, from $96 to $76."
Derek: "Oh Riiiight."
Operator: "But the police department might charge you a fee for signing off on the ticket, so you might not be saving much."
Derek: "Haha. You got me. Yeah. Allright Byyyyeeeeeeeee."
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Now I'm sitting here contemplating whether to even bother going to the police department and just paying the god damn thing online, since thats what they want me to do any fucking way. LAWDEE FUCKING DAW!
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